by Angela Gray
November 2020
US Representative Joe Wilson shouted, “You Lied” at former President Obama on national tv in 2009. That statement has continued to come to mind in recent weeks as our country once again publicly grieves the loss of black lives at the hands of law enforcement. I did not get in trouble much growing up but saying, “you lied” to my mother, was a no-no. She said growing up, she was taught that no matter how much was taken away from blacks, our character was something that could not be stolen however it could be damaged; so to call someone a liar, called their character into question and was something you just did not do lightly. To tell a lie means that you intentionally deceived someone; that was something neither God nor my mother tolerated and it seemed my mother delivered her punishment much swifter than God did. So, even today, that statement still triggers a strong, visceral reaction.
As I struggled with why that statement kept popping in to my head, I finally realized it was not just a one-time event where a congressman shouted, “You lied” but an entire country saying it every time it has been questioned whether “Black Lives Matter”. Throughout this country’s history, in word and deed, we have been told again and again we lied. We said that we were human beings, nope, you lied the constitution says, only 3/5. We said if “…all men are created equal” you cannot own us and our children however, we lied because even after the eventual abolishment of slavery; citizens are still marching in the streets for equality. Again, we were told we lied, when we said that we could not raise above the levels of poverty we exited slavery in when denied the same opportunities en masse as our counterparts. We must be lying when we complain about being exploited as prison laborers and/or low wage essential workers and question why we are disproportionally represented in these fields. When blacks prematurely die at higher rates from things such as giving birth, being born, hypertension, diabetes and COVID-19, we must still be lying because the cycle continues and nothing is done. We said, it is not ok to incarcerate innocent men & women for decades or worse execute them because of the color of their skin, or just skip the entire legal system and allow police officers to execute blacks at will, but once again, despite decades of stories and now videos, America keeps saying, “You lied” because despite protests and appeals, it is still happening. We continue to hear it at the highest levels, “you lied’, law enforcement is great, it just had one bad apple; which is easy to say, when you are not the one living in fear of your life. I know you should never generalize but I believe it is fair to say that it has taken the release of the video of George Floyd being murdered to finally get a majority of Americans to acknowledge that maybe Blacks have not lied when we question if black lives matter?
As we try to move on, I hear the call for open dialogue about our country’s past and our current race relations. I agree much dialogue is needed but question its effectiveness until we as a country acknowledge that instead of shouting “You lied”, we need to be shouting “Amen”. Until we can admit that the lies being told have been that “…all men are created equal” and that “all lives matter” and not “we cannot breathe” or “Black Lives Matter”; until that happens the dialogue will be no more than just hot air that quickly evaporates and we return to the same place the majority is comfortable in. When people refuse to say “Black Lives Matter” but instead say, “All Lives Matter” I don’t want to call their character into question but I hope they do realize most of them are lying. In order to truly say “All Lives Matter” means that you would have to practice the strictest form of veganism and be anti-abortion, anti-death penalty, anti-police, anti-military, anti-2nd amendment, anti-self-defense, anti-exterminators, need I continue? So, before we start those difficult conversations, we have to be able to objectively examine our nation’s past and stop victim blaming. You cannot empathize with the plight of blacks if you don’t believe what we say. This nation first must acknowledge that our biases and prejudices are steeped in a long history of bigotry and mistrust before true open dialogue can begin.
As the chairman of a small nonprofit that has been working to open a grocery store in a low-income area for the last 5 years; it has been heartbreaking to watch issues that have always existed being magnified now because they are extending beyond areas mostly comprised of black & brown residents. I do not understand how people are ok with kids only getting meals at school and using that as a justification to why schools need to be re-opened? We have known that children were only eating at school for generations but where has the outrage been and is this really acceptable? People were mortified to walk into grocery stores and not find staples like milk, bread or toilet paper but where has the horror been for those that have not had a grocery store in their neighborhood for decades? I cannot help but think that if I were a white man the outcome of my efforts would have been very different and my potential to change the world limitless. But once again, I must be the liar because we live in a world where systematic and institutional racism does not exist; at least according to the President of the United States and several of his cabinet members (along with many other Americans) so my failures must lay solely on me, right? Despite overcoming so many needless obstacles because of my gender and race, I cannot begin to express the frustration that I and many others face not because of our abilities, work effort or even love for this country but simply because we don’t matter. One of the saddest things is the realization of how much we have missed out on as a nation by only uplifting a small percentage of our citizens. All lives cannot matter when blacks continue to be denied access to healthcare, education, healthy food, jobs, capital, voting rights, housing, etc. nor as long as corporate and government funds are used to keep certain people down while enriching the lives of a few. How can we be “great again”, when we never invested in all of our people? How many solutions to problems have been missed because we decided who was worthy of basic human needs? What has the true economic cost to this country been because we allowed fear of “those people” getting what our fathers gave us (even though we know it was stolen goods) to keep us from realizing the true economic potential of this great country. We cannot continue raising future generations that don’t know the sins of our past because the truth makes us feel uncomfortable and change is too hard. It’s great for large corporations to say they support “Black Lives” and give large donations today but what happens next week, next month, next year? My entire life, I have seen over and over again, an event occurs, we say we need change but we eventually end up right back where we started. I agree that this time feels different, but that is not enough, we have to make sure that this time is different otherwise once again, “We lied” and nothing will change!